23 - Karla
Aug 11, 2009 at 11:42 pm
I wholeheartedly believe that Michael Jackson had Aspergers Syndrome. I am a nineteen year old girl and have it myself. Many of the eccentricities and misunderstood behavior Michael had is very similar to my own. Here are some things that I relate too.
I will be stuck in childhood my whole life. I cannot relate to anyone my own age. I feel most comfortable around children and they’re the only one’s who understand me and don’t judge me. I am extremely naïve when it comes to sexuality. I cannot tell when someone likes me and still don’t know how to attract a guy. I have sexual feelings I just don’t know how to express them. I’m also afraid of sexual contact and embarrass easily. I think Michael may have been the same way because of what he said in interviews.
In the notorious Marin Bashir documentary Michael talks about his first relationship. He was 16 and his girlfriend was 14 at the time. His girlfriend calls him up and tells him to come over to her place. He says he knew something was up by the tone of her voice but he totally wasn’t expecting for her to want to have sex. He said he was extremely embarrassed when she tried to unbutton his shirt and wouldn’t even look. He covered his face with his hands. The girl got the message that he was not ready. To someone with Aspergers sex can seem scary and embarrassing even if they would like to have it someday. Even basic hugging and kissing is like this too. I think that’s why his relationships never lasted, even with his wife.
Brooke Shields who dated him for awhile said she came to the conclusion that he’s probably asexual. It’s possible, but I think he was attracted to women but did not know how to take it past a friendship level. Lisa Marie Presley said he was more interested in other things. Often to people with Aspergers including myself we find other forms of activity much more enjoyable. In the Bashir documentary Michael is seen climbing a tree (I still do this too! I sit up in a tree in my front yard and read.) and says he likes to write music in it. Bashir thinks this is very strange and asks him if he thinks it’s appropriate for his age.
He then asks Michael what his favorite things to do are. He enthusiastically responds climbing trees and water balloon fights. Bashir is shocked and says don’t you enjoy cars or sex more. From Michael’s expression it’s obvious it didn’t even cross his mind. I too still find these innocent activities still fun. Unlike Michael though, I have learned to keep it a secret because people don’t always understand such things. I think Michael like me finds that being childlike is the part of us we like most about ourselves. Childhood is a magical period on life and losing it would be like dying. This is also important for artistic and creative endeavors. I think Michael saw the adult world as I see it.
The adult world is corrupt and full of unspeakable evils.
Most adults have lost their imagination and passion for life. We can’t
understand why adults don’t enjoy fun and games anymore. All the magic
and mystery of the world is gone for adults. I know for me this makes me feel
isolated from society. When I look at the world I see beauty and wonder. If
I see a flower I will smell it and be in awe of its beauty. I still notice
the clouds and what forms they can take. If I see a firefly my eyes light
up with its magic. I never get used to things. It’s like a new experience
every time. It’s sad to see people not take notice of their surroundings
and give thanks. I watched a very cute interview with Michael in it. He was
at his Nederland at night sitting by a fountain. Its night time and no one
is interviewing him. The camera is rolling and he is able to say whatever
comes to his mind. He talks about the stars and the fireflies and how the
night is filled with such magic. He pretends to fly like peter pan. He talks
about how children, animals, and nature inspire him. He was being very open
and honest. I’d never seen him look so happy and cute.
Now to the part that breaks my heart. I do not and will not believe for one minute that he ever acted inappropriate with or around children. I have spent long hours digging up information from the trial. I made sure to make myself stand back so that I don’t have a biased view. I still found nothing to convince me he did such unspeakable things. I’m not going to list the facts of what I found because people should research it themselves. I do recommend though a very, very little known DVD called Michael Jackson: The Untold Story of Neverland. You will get to see the accuser making his accusations from his trial videos and get to see and learn a ton of other facts that have never got media coverage. Watch it and make up your mind for yourself. He loved and adored children and gave more money to charities than any other celebrity in history.Unfortunately he was too nice and naïve for his own good because of Aspergers. I believe he got taken advantage of not once but twice and in many other areas of his life too. I too get taken advantage of and almost always don’t see it coming because I only see the good in people.
As for his physical transformation, I can kind of relate to that too. Often people with Aspergers suffer from OCD spectrum disorders and perfectionism. These include eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, tourettes syndrome, tricatillamania( hair pulling) and of course just the most common definition of the word. It has taken an immense toll on my own life and health and can relate very much to Michael. Since I was 14 I have suffered from anorexia, regular OCD, and body dysmorphic disorder. I have never been comfortable with my body since puberty. I want my childhood body back so badly. I tried to stay underweight so I wouldn’t develop. It has hurt me in the long run. I think Michael had an eating disorder too from the information I have gathered. It’s obvious to everyone he had body dysmorphic disorder, which is when you focus excessively on your physical features in a negative way. I feel very lucky I have over come this mostly because if I would’ve had the money at the time I was suffering from it I would’ve had so many things with plastic surgery. I still want to be perfect sometimes. Unfortunately for Michael he did have the money and he was and adult so no one could stop him. It’s a serious disorder and it’s hard to understand if you don’t suffer from it.
I know some people are going to be thinking he can’t have Aspergers because he’s an entertainer and is around tons of fans. Everyone with Aspergers is different and can tolerate different things. In people with Aspergers they are able to do anything they want to do as long as it is there special interest. Singing and Dancing were his special interest, his obsession, his passion. He lived for it and consequently was able to overcome many barriers because it was what he loved. Off stage he was like a different person. He was very shy and introverted. Almost like a whole different person. This confuses many people.I think what people need to know is that when a person with Aspergers is doing the thing they love most they are not shy anymore because that is where they come alive!
So sorry for this being way too long. I got a bit carried away. I just want people to be open to the idea that he may have suffered from Aspergers. I mean look at all his brothers and sisters. They aren’t like him at all. Michael definitely had something going on and it made him unique. He is an inspiration too me. He stayed true to himself for his entire life.
One last note. I think if Michael had been
a girl with Aspergers he would have had an easier time in life. It’s
more acceptable in society for girls to be seen as naïve and innocent,
to dress flamboyantly, and hang around children and animals. I bet if Michael
was a girl his eccentricities wouldn’t be nearly as magnified. I say
this because I know it to be true as I am a girl with Aspergers. I love Michael
to the core and it would be a blessing if people got to view Michael as I
I love you Michael. Rest in Peace, you deserve it.